I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend. (J.R.R.Tolkien, The Two Towers)

When I carry a gun, I don't do so because I am looking for a fight, but because I'm looking to be left alone. The gun at my side means that I cannot be forced, only persuaded. I don't carry it because I'm afraid, but because it enables me to be unafraid. It doesn't limit the actions of those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those who would do so by force.

Marko Kloos "Why the Gun is Civilization"

Thursday, December 16, 2004

The DD AKA I'm not drunk Officer, I've only had a couple of 6 packs!!

One evening two officers were engaged in their favorite past time of watching the parking lot of the local night club at closing time in hopes of catching someone DUI (driving under the influence). Their standard procedure was to watch all of the customers coming out and follow the one who seemed to be the most under the influence.

The first guy out the door took two steps and fell flat on his face. He proceeded to crawl to a light pole where with great difficulty he managed to stand back up only to fall again after a few steps. So crawling and pulling himself up car by car he finally managed to get to his own vehicle. Next he fumbled for his keys going through each pocket several times before locating them.

All this time the other customers had been driving off. Several appeared to be intoxicated but nothing like the first guy so the two officers decided to wait on him.

Being the last customer in the club's parking lot, he finally pulled out onto the highway and they immediately blue lighted him. He pulled to the curb and the first officer went to the vehicle while the other called it in to dispatch. On getting the suspect out of his vehicle neither officer could smell any intoxicant about his person. His eyes weren't bloodshot, his speech wasn't slurred and he was rock solid on his feet.

After passing all of the field sobriety tests with flying colors the two officers were dumbfounded. When the first officer asked him what was going on the gentleman replied "Oh, I'm the club's DD." The second officer then replied "The Designated Driver, What the hell does the club need a designated driver for?"

"Oh No", the gentleman said, "Not the designated driver...I'm the club's Designated Decoy!"

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At 12:12 PM, Blogger the Contrary Goddess said...

Come on H.--write something new -- or a least send me a letter or something!


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