New John West Salmon Ad Bear vs Fisherman

john west salmon ad

Trunk Monkey Compilation

HIPPO

Click on picture to enlarge.

Guaranteed to kill ANY garden bug or your money back!

BLOCK A

BLOCK B

Directions...Place bug on block B...Smash bug with block A

Drunk Squirrel

POLICE HUMOR

FRIENDLY FIRE AKA LOOK OUT BELOW!!

OH SH*T!!!

I WONDER WHY WE HAVEN'T CAUGHT ANY SPEEDERS TODAY?

Borrowed from... Xavier Thoughts...A Nurse With a Gun

The Poodle & the Leopard

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa , and took her faithful old poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the geriatric poodle began chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discoverd that he was lost. Wandering about, he was alarmed to see a leopard stalking in his direction, licking his chops.

"Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" thought the old poodle. Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard was about to pounce, the old poodle exclaimed loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halted his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror came over him and he slinked away through the trees. "Whew!", said the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, decided he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he scurried, but the old poodle saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and knew something must be up. The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, and spilled the beans. He quickly struck a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! Now, the old poodle saw the leopard approaching with the monkey on his back and thought, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them. Just when they had crept close enough to pounce, the old poodle exclaimed "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of the story...
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

Close Encounters of the Bear Kind AKA Nightmares.com

One of my blogger friends, knowing of my irrational BEAR PHOBIA sent me a copy of the above book. Now whether the timing of this to coincide with the opening of deer season was just a coincidence or a deviously planned act remains to be seen. Whatever the intent, the effect was the same. After reading of horrible, gory, bloody acts of enraged Ursus arctos horribilis and Ursus americanus, of their almost human like need for revenge, and of their uncanny ability to track and find those they have targeted, it is now time once again to sally forth with pepper spray, bib, and fork in my back pocket and beard the bear in his den. If no new posts are forthcoming
from this blog after a reasonable time then mark me 10-42 (ending tour of duty) with score Bears 1...Howard 0.

New use for recycled tires AKA Dog Tired

This is the old tire made into a flowerbed that is sometimes the bed of the wayward hound dog.

This is the wayward hound dog I've been trying all summer to snap a picture of in his bed.

This is the wayward hound dog that would just love to get his teeth in me.

Deer hunter's dream

Deer hunter's reality

Herman 09/13/06

Shades of Darth Vader

Raccoons in the Corn

I've always wanted a coonskin cap. Think I'll get me one...or two.

Now That's One Tough Pussy Cat

Jack, a 15-pound orange-and-white cat, sits under a treed black bear in a backyard in West Milford, N.J., Sunday, June 4, 2006. When the bear climbed down, the cat chased it up another nearby tree. Neighbor Suzanne Giovanetti thought Jack was simply looking up at the bear, but soon realized the much larger animal was afraid of the hissing cat. The cat's owners called it away and the bear ran off. (AP Photo/Suzanne Giovanetti)




A couple of summers ago we had a large (500+ pounds according to the game warden) bear wandering around here in town and on the 4-lane. We followed it around for the better part of 2 hours trying to run it back into the woods. Finally a small dog about the same size as the cat above chased it full speed over the hill, across the road, and back into the woods.

Him Speak With Forked Tongue

Click here to read some real lawyer type double talk!

OK...which one am I suppose to use?

If you'll look close, both bathroom signs say MEN.

Everyone else...

"SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!"

Did you hear the one about the blond who bought a stud finder at Lowe's and then took it back because it didn't work on any of the guys she tried it on?