I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend. (J.R.R.Tolkien, The Two Towers)

When I carry a gun, I don't do so because I am looking for a fight, but because I'm looking to be left alone. The gun at my side means that I cannot be forced, only persuaded. I don't carry it because I'm afraid, but because it enables me to be unafraid. It doesn't limit the actions of those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those who would do so by force.

Marko Kloos "Why the Gun is Civilization"

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Traffic Stop

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding

and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended
when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of
it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove
box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after
I shot and killed the woman who owns this car
and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called
his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by
police, and the captain approached the driver
to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove
box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk?
I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer
who stopped you said you told him you didn't
have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the
glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding,

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At 2:59 PM, Blogger dragonfly183 said...

hehehehe. I'd like to laugh at that but I'm to busy writing that down ;)

At 9:06 PM, Blogger Eleutheros said...

Two ol' boys arguing whose dog it was. The one says to the other:

"Let's go to claims court and let the judge settle this!"
"I can't go, I don't have a clean shirt to wear."
"I'll lend you a shirt."
"But I don't have a way to get there."
"You can take the truck here and I'll drive my wife's car."
"Then we're agreed."

Later in court His Honor says: "Next case, the ownership of this dog is in question..."

The ol' boy asks to come to the bench and says to His Honor, "Aw, judge, he's a bit of a nutcase, thinks everything belongs to him. Ask him whose truck that is I drove up in."

"Say, you, whose truck did this man drive here in?"

"It's mine, your honor."

"Why he probably even thinks he owns the very shirt on my back, go on, ask him."

"You, whose shirt is this man wearing?"

"Well, your honor, as a matter of fact ......"


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